19. juli 2012
I was running as fast as I could. If I could reach that old barn, maybe I could escape! I heard him right behind me, and he was about to catch me. I tried to run faster, but I was barefooted, and the gravel hurt me every time I hit the ground. He was sure to catch me before I reached the barn, as he had both more strength than me, and shoes. But I had to try, I couldn’t give up. Not now.
‘Aaaaahh!’ I cried out as something cut open my foot. I tried to run further, but as my foot hit the ground, so did I. My leg gave in, and I stumbled forward. I hit the ground with my hands first, and then I slid forward because of my speed. I got some wounds all over my arms, but I was oblivious of them, because my foot hurt too much. I rolled over on my back, and I noticed I was further away from him than I expected. It took him å few seconds before he reached me, and when he did, he smirked at me, and said ‘seems like you’re not going home today’. I laid my head on the ground, and passed out right after I felt him starting to pick me up from the ground. I had used up all my energy trying to escape, and I was really exhausted.
When I woke up again, we were back in his van. He had chained me to the safety netting behind the two front seats. My vision was blurry, and I didn’t really see much of what was happening. But he found something I thinks was supposed to cleanse my wounds, because he poured it on a peace of cloth, and started to rub it on my foot. It hurt, but I didn’t have enough energy to scream. All that came out was a grunt. He mumbled something, but I couldn’t make out what. After he had washed my wounds, both on my feet and arms, he bandaged them. Said something about me not being worth anything if I had all these wounds when we got there. I felt I was about to faint again, but I tried to stay focused on something, so I could keep myself awake. He jumped out of the car, slammed the door, and got in the drivers seat. He had changed the blown tire, and we were on the road again, driving to what ever fate was waiting for me where ever we were going. I couldn’t stay awake anymore, and I passed out once again. I woke up sometimes, and could see that we were still driving every time. I could only keep myself awake for a few seconds at the time, and all I had to decipher the time between every time, was the fact that it was getting darker and darker outside.
I finally managed to stay awake for more than a few seconds, and I noticed that we drove onto a side road, and we were heading inwards to the forest. We drove for what I think was about half an hour, before he pulled up beside a cabin. I couldn’t really tell time, as it felt like every minute was as long as an hour. He got out of the van, took with him a bag he kept in the passenger seat, and went into the cabin. Shortly after I noticed the lights going on, and he came back outside. He opened the door to the back of the van, and started to unbuckle the ties he had tied me with. He looked at me with a look that could have been mistaken for worry, before he asked me if I could walk. I nodded slowly, not being able to speak because my mouth was so dry. He took a hold of my hand, and waited patiently for me to get out of the car. I wondered why he seemed so nice to me now. As I hit the ground, I immediately stumbled. He grabbed my arm, and supported me, so that I could walk. Every step was painful, and the walk to the cabin seemed like miles to me. I was walking very slowly, and I expected him to drag me after him at every moment, but he walked besides me in my tempo the whole way. The cabin was small, with one room functionally being used as both living room and a kitchen. There was a couch besides the fireplace, with a small coffee table in front. From this one room there were two doors, which I guessed to be a bedroom and a bathroom. He led me towards the couch, where I immediately laid down, and lifted my feet. He came to me with a glass of water I tried to drink very fast, but most of it spilled, because my lips and mouth were so dry, they wouldn’t function properly. He helped me up in a seated position, and gave me another glass of water. ‘Drink it more slowly this time’, he said with an almost smile. I really couldn’t understand his sudden change in personality, and why he was acting so nice to me now. Earlier in the day, or at least I think it is was the same day, he looked so pleased to see me in pain. I could not come up with a rational theory on why his behavior was so changed. Maybe he thought by being nice to me, I wouldn’t try to run away. Well, I wasn’t really able to escape in the condition I was in. I could barely walk from the car and in to the cabin, and that was with his help. He went to the kitchen, and started heating something. After a few minutes he came with a plate of food to me. Must have been some hermetic food or something, because I couldn’t really tell what it was. ‘I’m taking a shower, try to eat something. You haven’t had food in two days’. Two days? Really? No wonder I feel terrible. I stood there watching me for a while, and I didn’t touch the food. I just stared at it. When I went to the bathroom, and I heard the shower was on, I tried to eat some. It didn’t taste much, really, but it was nice to get some food. After I had taken a few bites, I already felt my energy coming back in small doses. I now managed to eat the whole plate. And I was still hungry! But me feet hurt too much to get more. Suddenly I felt really tired. Maybe he had put some pills in the food, or I was just really exhausted, and needed sleep. I really didn’t care. If he had given me pills, at least I could have a good night sleep. I laid down on the couch in a comfortable position, and fell asleep right away.
When I woke up, the sun had raised. My bandages had been changed, and my glass of water was full. According to the clock on the wall, it was 9.03am. If that was correct, I didn’t know. But if I was to judge from the sun, it seemed just about right. I was wondering if he had gotten up yet, and if so, where was he? I sat up, and had a look around. I stepped on something, and realized it was a blanket. He must have put it over me when I fell asleep, and probably I have kicked it off in my sleep. I tried to reach for my head with my left arm, and then noticed I was cuffed to the couch. Of course, he didn’t trust me. Why would he, it wasn’t as if I had earned any trust. I wasn’t trying to either. I then heard a car parking on the outside, and shortly after he came in the door. He had a bag with something. He picked up some clean clothes from the bag, motioned to the bathroom, and said ‘You should take a shower, and put on these clothes afterward’. He then came to me, loosened the cuffs, and handed me the clothes. I didn’t look at him; I was kind of scared to do that. I stood up, and walked very slowly and clumsy towards the bathroom. He didn’t help me this time; he just stood there, watching. That freaked me out a little. When I was at the opening to the bathroom, I turned and looked in his direction, still not directly on him and asked ‘What about these?’ pointing at the bandages. ‘Take’em off. The wounds are healed enough.’ I nodded, and then locked the door behind me. I looked for a window, but found only a very small one, impossible for me to fit through. So I didn’t think more about that. I took of the bandages, and saw that all the wounds actually were healing well. The cut under my foot wasn’t as big as it felt like when I cut myself on what ever was laying in the road. It kind of looked like he had glued it together, and that was fine. It just meant it healed faster, and that I could walk properly on it sooner. I undressed, turned on the shower, and just stood there for a while. The feeling of the water running down my spine was surprisingly revealing. I washed my hair, which was really dirty, and I went over the rest of my body with some soap. I don’t know how long I was in the shower, but it felt like an eternity. I loved it. Finally I got out, took a towel, and dried of. Before I put my new clothes on, I stared at my self in the mirror for a while. I must have been kidnapped a while back, before my last memory. Because I was really skinny, and I had rings under my eyes. That meant I had gone a while without proper food, because you don’t get that skinny without food for two or three days. I dropped the towel to the floor, and studied the rest of my body. Yes, I was certainly more skinny, but not underweight. So I would guess I was kidnapped about a week ago, maybe two, depending on how much food I actually have gotten. I wonder what had happened. Why can’t I remember longer back than when I tried to escape? I don’t remember how I was kidnapped, why, or even where. Who are my mom and dad? Do I even have any parents? What’s my name? How old am I? I do remember how I looked the last time I saw myself in a mirror. I know for a fact that I have been kidnapped. How come I remember these things, but not much else? Knock, knock… ‘Hey, we got to go.’ I quickly stumbled over to the clean clothes, put them on in a hurry, and opened the door. He handed me some shoes. I put them on, hoping they were my size. They turned out to be a little big, but not much. He led me to the van, and motioned for me to get into the back, same place as I had sat the day before. Today he seemed like a mix of the two personalities he had had yesterday. Kind, but inpatient. And a little grumpy. I didn’t argue, and seated myself in the same spot. I didn’t tie me up this time, though. He just slammed the door, and got into the drivers seat.
We got back on the highway, and once again we were heading towards my unknown destiny. He put on the radio, and the news was on. I listened for my name through out the sending, but I didn’t hear it. I thought it might have something to do with the fact that I don’t actually remember my name, but there weren’t any news on a kidnapping either. It really bothered me that I had lost my memory. I tried as hard as I could, but no matter what I did, no memory returned to me. It almost felt like they were slipping further away. What had happened, to make my memory fade? What had happened in the days before I tried to run away? I wanted to scream in frustration, but found myself crying instead. I heard him reposition his rear mirror, probably to see what I was doing. I guess he must have heard me cry.
